tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-981010351608382032024-02-19T05:35:35.548-06:00Voices In My HeadThe stream of thought from musician, artist, humanist, and atheist Sean GillSean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-59970766344033120822021-10-06T16:09:00.003-05:002023-06-13T17:34:06.437-05:00Writings on medium<p> Trying out Medium for my new writings. I have been working on my life story so far, and a smattering of other topics. <a href="https://medium.com/@guitarsean">https://medium.com/@guitarsean</a></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-54567362766833445242016-07-21T15:26:00.001-05:002016-07-21T15:26:16.818-05:00MovingMy blog has been moved to <a href="http://guitarsean.info/blog" target="_blank">Sean Gill - blog</a>. This site will remain as an archive. Thanks!<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-9557549312478614512014-11-16T15:15:00.000-06:002015-02-12T10:31:35.716-06:00Entire history so far<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been lately thinking about the past. Hopefully not in a mopey, nostalgic way. It just seemed like a good time to look back and see where I've been. It's a personality flaw of mine to never stop and smell the roses. I'm always charging on to the next problem, often causing myself stress in thinking I'm not getting anything done. I have to remind myself sometimes that I have gotten a few things done.<br />
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The quick list and brief rundown of every band I've ever been in. There may be a few short lived entities I've forgotten. Like my first live performance ever. My freshman year of High School, some homecoming function. I remember playing a few Metallica covers. I can't recall what the name of that group was. Some of my dates are fuzzy, too. It's still kind of surprising to me how much I've done, how many bands are on this list. And if my count s right today today I've been involved in one way or other with 22 official album or ep releases.<br />
<br />
<i>Perpetual Motion</i> - (c. 1991-1992?) mostly Metallica, Maiden and Primus covers, a few originals, played some shows, morphed into:<br />
<i>Three Blind Mice</i> - (c. 1992-94) played shows, recorded: S/T, Red Beans and Mice<br />
<i>Fishboy</i> - (c. 1993-1996) mostly a duo project, a couple acoustic shows, recorded: Elders, Driving Down This Road, Improv<br />
<i>Big Brown Newport</i> - (c. 1994-1996, semi-active again as of 2010) I played bass, played a lot of shows, recorded: BBNII, Part Time, Mogwai, Appleton Session<br />
<i>Strange Land</i> - (c. 1998-present) lots of shows, recorded: Foundation ep (1999), Anomaly (2001), ProgPower ep (2002), Blaming Season (2004), Catharsis (2008), Singles (2011-12), ∆v (2014)<br />
<i>Catherine Scholz </i>(c. 1999-2000?), played shows, help record/engineer some songs for an ep.<br />
<i>ABS Blues Band </i>(c. 2008-2010), played some shows, mostly covers, a few originals. No completed recordings<br />
<i>Soaker</i> - (c. 2005) recorded some tracks, no shows<br />
<i>The Well</i> - (c. 2008-2010) played shows, recorded some demo tracks<br />
<i>Trinity Demask </i>(c. 2010-2011, still on call to sub) played a bunch of shows<br />
<i>Delusionist</i> - (c. 2010-2012) played shows, recorded demos<br />
<i>Solo</i> - (c. 1998-present) played a heap of shows, recorded: Book Of Ashes (1999), Driving Empty Miles (2001), October Dust (2004), This Is What It Sounds Like Inside My Head (2007), Anode (2014), Better Days (2015)<br />
<i>Stone Soup Soldiers</i> - (c. 2010-present) studio project, recorded: Street Art (2012), various film work<br />
<br />
Other notable groups:<br />
Greater MKE Youth Jazz Ensemble<br />
UWM Jazz Ensemble (recorded a cd)<br />
Wisconsin Conservatory of Music Classical Quartet<br />
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I've been awarded an engineer of the year award from the progressive rock hall of fame (sadly mostly defunct). I've been teaching private music lessons since 1993. I've taught at many different locations, and even have a student online in New Zealand as of this writing.<br />
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I have a number of songs placed with song libraries, and the <i>Stone Soup Soldiers</i> project has had some success with independent films and the Outdoor Channel. In 2014 played occasional bass and guitar with <i>The Most Ever Company, </i>led by composer Dexter Ford. Mostly oddball prog influenced by Captain Beefheart, Zappa, Yes, and others, along with random covers (sometimes played straight, sometimes mutated).<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-37281122245650757872014-11-03T17:07:00.002-06:002015-02-12T10:34:52.489-06:00Mass Effect<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've never written a video game review. I'm not a hardcore gamer by any means. But upon having completed one pass through the trilogy, I feel compelled to discuss Mass Effect. Perhaps that's just a sign of its quality. The story is over and I need to talk about it. And yeah, it's probably odd that I'm reviewing/defending a game several years after the big kerfuffle. I started this post a while ago, and as of now I'm on my 3rd time through. I don't want to leave the Mass Effect world.<br />
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<i>Character continuity</i><br />
Mass Effect allows you to import your character from the previous game. This means that decisions you make in Mass Effect 1 have impact on the rest of the series. If you can play all 3 on one system, do so. If you can't, try to get you hands on the interactive comic prequel add on. It summarizes the events of ME1 and 2 and allows you to step in and make most of the major choices that appear in ME 1 and 2. Offhand I'd say it covers 80% of the major choices, and there are only a couple of things that would have been different in my ME3 game otherwise. <i><br /></i><br />
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<i>Emotional attachment</i><br />
I'm a sensitive person, and I like getting lost in a story. Maybe it's just me, but the Memorial Wall on the Normandy made me catch my breath the first time I saw it in ME3. These were people I'd saved, who saved me. Friends, colleagues, romantic relations. And here, staring me in the face, a stark reminder that choices I made meant they ended up dead. At the end of ME3, just before the final mission, you get the opportunity to say goodbye to all your teammates and friends. About halfway through this the first time I realized "Holy shit, I'm never going to see these people again." I'm not ashamed to say there were several places throughout the games that made me cry. And kudos to the score composers to adding to the game so effectively.<br />
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<i>Sometimes life's choices really are all crap. </i><br />
When Mass Effect 3 was released there was apparently an uproar by longtime fans over the ending. Bioware quickly released new content for the games that was meant to give a more proper ending to the series. Like I said, I'm not a hardcore gamer, so I don't buy games new. I wait until they are cheap, so I was able to play all 3 back to back, no waiting, so I guess I avoided some anticipation let down others may have felt. Depending on how you play the game, there can be 8 or 9 outcomes in the final act (I think... essentially 4 choices with varied details). Upon its release many complained that there wasn't enough control, that all the previous decisions they had made meant nothing. I read these criticisms, and when I got to the end I thought "Sometimes when life presents you with choices, they all suck. You have to pick the one you feel like you can live with." Throughout the game there are choices you have to make that determine whether major characters, even whole races, survive. It's a Kobayashi Maru, but unlike Kirk, you can't cheat. I didn't feel let down by the ending, and the extended cuts tie up enough loose ends. There is no Hollywood ending to this game, and frankly, if there had been, I would have felt cheated by that.<br />
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<i>A little bit of everything</i><br />
At one point in the game the pilot, Joker, makes a crack about not getting caught unless people start singing the Russian National Anthem. This is a little joke reference to the movie Hunt For Red October, but apparently some people either didn't get it or felt like being pedantic and bitched about how it wouldn't happen because there's no air in space. Lighten up people. And speaking of humor, ME has it's moments, especially if you get the ME2 Shadow Broker and ME3 Citadel add-ons. There were many laugh out loud moments and that just makes the immersion all the more complete. "What kind of weapons does this thing have!" "It's a TAXI. It has a fare meter!"<br />
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<i>Once more around the sun</i><br />
Movies, though iconic, are short. Simplified. ME borrows more from literature and thus is more expansive and deep. I found myself thinking Mass Effect had many a nod to great Sci Fi literature like Rendevous With Rama, Ender's Game, Ringworld, and others. Mass effect is so large in scope and so immersive, it's no wonder video games like this and others are so popular. A story with a Star Wars or Lord Of The Rings level scope, and you get to participate in it every step of the way. And because ME has such variety, you can play through several times with radically different results. Well worth every moment.<br />
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(http://io9.com/5886178/why-mass-effect-is-the-most-important-science-fiction-universe-of-our-generation)<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-60052265476418431022014-04-11T13:57:00.001-05:002014-11-03T17:09:39.622-06:00Approaching 40I'm coming up on 38. Not all that old by most standards. At this point in my life I can't say things are bad. They aren't what I'd hope them to be, but I have enough to do more than just survive. Last year around my birthday I spent a lot of time contemplating my life. I really questioned whether I'd been doing it right. I chose a life that wasn't normal, and in doing so I have no real guides to judge by. I don't have kids and never will. I don't have a "normal" career where I move up some ladder to eventual retirement. I lack all those signposts of life most people seem to have.<br />
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This year I've thought what being in my 30's has meant. Not too long ago people started saying the 40 is the new 30, or 50 is the new 40. I don't know whether this is just a pithy saying or a genuine reflection of improving medicine and technology helping us live longer. But I wonder if I can extend that thought. Have my experiences in my 30's been more like what someone used to go through in their 20's? Where once one would have graduated college, gotten married, and started a family by 30, those things took me much longer. College took me 5 years. I lived with my parents until I was 26. I didn't get married until I was 28. I didn't start a good job until I was 24, I didn't start something you could call a career until I was 30. My marriage ended when I was almost 33. Looking back, there were a lot of things I postponed for myself during that time. Now at 38 I feel like I'm doing things I should have done 10 years ago. But would it have been possible then? Probably not. Is this just me, or do many people have this experience?<br />
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I've been reading the Stoics. It's a philosophy that suits me well. I think my introversion is a natural fit to being a Stoic. Stoicism is misunderstood. The most important aspect is the idea of training yourself to experience joy in what you have, and to not worry about what you don't have. Stoicism has a lot in common with Zen Buddhism, but with more emphasis on civic involvement than on isolated contemplation. While this philosophy makes a lot of sense to me, it's always a battle to implement.<br />
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Setting aside the details, the general thing/wish/want I have at this point in my life is growth. Mostly of the educational sort. Unfortunately a master's degree or beyond is out of my financial reach, as is any kind of formal training. I have been teaching myself some new skills, including some advanced guitar repair. But, trading time on these activities against paying work isn't always easy. Is this something that should have happened in my 20's? Maybe at a time I could have stayed up until 2am everyday and not felt horrible the next day? I must be missing some of that "30 is the new 20" health technology.<br />
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I am where I am because of choices I have made. Some choices were wrong, some were right. Some were right at the time but turned out bad in the long run. I can't change any of that. I can only continue to make choices in this moment. That's another tenet of Stoicism. The past cannot be changed. The future is unknown. And right now, there are things I can control, and things I cannot. I need to focus down only on the things I can control right in this present moment. Again, never easy. But no one ever said life was easy.<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-73554464933794757752014-02-05T15:35:00.001-06:002014-11-03T17:10:39.673-06:00Stop working so hardHere's how I look at it. Yes, I've got bills to pay and I have to eat. But every day I remind myself that what I choose to do today is paid for with hours of my life. And I have no idea how many of those are in the bank. Stress kills, and that surely puts an end to my use of those hours. Beyond not starving or freezing to death, why spend any time at all doing something you don't really want to do?<br />
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http://business.time.com/2014/02/03/10-reasons-to-stop-working-so-hard/?hpt=hp_t3<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-80100893534973443592014-01-29T13:15:00.004-06:002014-01-29T13:18:00.899-06:00Reason in 2014If I could wish for one thing in 2014 it would be for the world to embrace reason. Why should I be shunned for asking for evidence? Haven't we had enough woo woo and "one weird trick"? It must be some innate aspect of being human to need quick fixes, to want to believe for no reason other than somehow it fits our biases, or fill some void we are to frightened to examine closely.<br /><br /><br /> For example, just look at this list of apocalypses (apocalypsi?): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events. Over and over people, for some unfathomable reason, want to believe the world is going to end. And in every case they are wrong. They will continue to be wrong. The only people on that list likely to be correct (read: have any evidence, theoretical or otherwise) are the scientists contemplating the fate of our world a very long time from now.<br /><br /><br /> Facts matter. And if you don't have any, then don't expect me to automatically agree with you. Let's define facts as well. Verifiable, testable, repeatable. Observable to everyone. Widely researched and written about. Facts are not something your brother's friend's uncle told him somebody told him about. Facts are not whatever some talking head on tv says is true. Facts can be gleaned from experts, but you need to know how to judge experts. Understand their background. Jenny McCarthy is not a medical expert, she's just famous. Depak Chopra uses lots of scienc-y words and makes many references to quantum physics. He has no training at all in physics and his use of those terms is an offense to humanity. I'll even pick on someone I like. Neil deGrasse Tyson is an expert, but I wouldn't automatically believe what he told me was wrong with my car. He's an astrophysicist, not a mechanic. Just because someone has a website doesn't mean that whatever they are selling is a panacea for all your ills. <br /><br /><br /> The world is grey, not black and white. Declaring something all good or all bad is almost always unfounded. GMOs are not universally evil. Eating only vegetables isn't a problem solver for everyone. The ideas of democrats or republicans are not all great or all catastrophic. The world today is far too prone to having the pendulum swing wildly from one side to the other. If you think "big pharma" is evil and greedy, you must also follow the money behind your preferred treatments. Hate Sysco? Ok, but who owns your organic producers? EVERYONE trying to sell you something should be questioned.<br /><br /><br /> One thing a person relying on reason should do it not jump to conclusions or fill gaps with assumptions. If you don't have facts, if you get to a place along a line of research or discussion where you would shave to say "I don't know", that's ok. Say you don't know and continue researching. It is not reasonable to say you don't know, therefore god/aliens/fairies did it. If you really believe it was god/aliens/fairies, it would be unreasonable of you to expect everyone else to accept an explanation based solely on faith and belief. Choosing to have faith or just believe because you want to or it makes you feel better is ok, but that isn't an excuse for closed-mindedness or belligerence towards others. If you do have evidence, you have to accept that not everyone is convinced by that alone, especially if they already have other long-held beliefs. Belligerence doesn't help much here either. Getting fired up is ok, but watch out for just attacking other people.<br /><br /><br /> If you're position of belief lacks evidence, don't just bitch about it or blame "THEM" for some conspiratorial suppression. Scientists WANT to understand. They WANT to study the world. If there isn't adequate study of a certain issue, blame politicians for not providing the funding for research. Blame famous people for being ignorant of science while they use their bully pulpit to deride science. And blame the people (yes, ourselves) for not putting pressure where it's needed. <br /><br /><br /> Hand in hand with reason is time. It takes time to do research, whether in a lab or online. Reasonable arguments can't be offered and rebutted in sound bites and photo memes. The internet in general is a terrible place to look for rationality. It will take a conscious effort to change that. I would ask the whole world just to slow down a bit. Shortened time scale force you to react with your cognitive biases and emotion, and that's not good. It takes time to dig in to a question, to form an argument for or against. With no time allowed, we agree with those we already agree with, and disagree with those we don't like. "Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived it is too late; the jest is over, and the tale has had its effect.” - Jonathan Swift<br /><br /><br /> Here's another reason to slow down. The world doesn't change that fast. Really, how different is the world now than it was 10 or 20 or 50 years ago? Calm down, think of how choices and actions will affect you both tomorrow and 10 years from now. I ask you also to think about how the choices we make today will affect the world 100, 1000, even 10,000 years from now. Despite all the exoplanets that have been discovered, we are still the only official intelligent technological life in the universe. We have an obligation to survive and continue to further our understanding of the universe. If we don't, we may as well turn off all the lights and go back to subsistence farming. <br /><br /><br /> Despite my rant, I'm asking you to be reasonable, especially in the public square. At home, do whatever you want. But when you step in to the space of society we all share remember that there is a human being on the other side of that other computer screen. I think in some situations, particularly in the functioning of a civilization, we must sacrifice our personal conceits and whims for the benefit of all. However, as we have discussions in the public square, be forewarned that any claims made will always be subject to scrutiny. If you choose to make claims based on faith or whim alone and you are criticized or given evidence to the contrary, you may hold on to your beliefs, you may defend them as you can, but cries of censorship or hate are unfounded. Take a little more time to think about what makes us the same. There is so much hate everywhere I look these days, and it's mostly over such minor issues. We are all human beings and we have an obligation to treat each other decently even if we disagree. <div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-81302512175137726302014-01-21T20:54:00.000-06:002014-11-03T17:10:14.299-06:00Book review - Quiet<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking-ebook/dp/B004J4WNL2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390356200&sr=8-1&keywords=quiet+the+power+of+introverts+in+a+world+that+can%27t+stop+talking" target="_blank">Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking.</a><br />
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I think everyone should read this book. Introverts, ambiverts, and extroverts alike. The United Stated is a very extroverted place and extroversion is rewarded. Extroversion can be found everywhere, from Tony Robbins life coaching, to the shape of our political system, your office workplace, right down to the halls of your high school. The section on the Harvard Business School alone is an incredible insight. Sorry my extrovert friends, but you crashed the economy. High extroversion often leads to risk taking. Not necessarily bad, but in the case of gambling with other people's money and homes, yes it is.<br />
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I've known for a very long time that I am an introvert. I've always thought that it was just the way I was and I had to live with it. I've gone through my life just accepting that some things were not for me because I don't have the right personality. Author Susan Cain spends a fair amount of time sorting through the characteristics of introversion and gives a wealth of suggestions on how these traits can be turned into strengths, or at least managed. I have always liked sinking my teeth into a solitary project, the hours flying by without any notice at all. Cain has given me pause to think about how I am or am not using that in my daily life. I'd be well suited to try to find jobs and hobbies that play to the strength.<br />
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Although I've long known I was an introvert, I never really thought about how the rest of the world treated me because of that. Some people think introversion is a mental illness, or that we're anti-social. Beyond that, the whole path of success in America is slanted to extroversion. Not only am I not a natural schmoozer, it takes an enormous amount of mental energy to make myself do it when I have to. I'd much rather be the mad scientist tinkering in my lab, but the world has no place for tinkers. Cain goes to great lengths to try to bridge the extro-intro worlds, but there is definitely a part of me that wants to get in the extro world's face and yell "this is how I am, don't dismiss me!" Still working on the diplomacy thing.<br />
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The author also brings up the concept of being and HSP: Highly Sensitive Person. I've never heard this term before, but I clearly am one. 70% of introverts are HSPs. If you're sensitive to loud sounds, bright lights, strong smells, and get more emotional than most over, say, a sad movie, you are probably an HSP. Knowing this now also gives me more insight to how I react to the world around me.<br />
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This book also has informative sections on being the parent of an introvert, teaching introverts, and on learning to adopt some extrovert skills. If there's an introvert in your life, listen a little more. Be a little more patient. Still waters run deep.<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-8180551821803471242013-10-11T13:54:00.003-05:002013-10-11T13:55:25.930-05:00Fuck your godhttp://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/11/20913675-its-very-good-news-malala-didnt-win-the-nobel-peace-prize-pakistani-taliban?lite<br />
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Taliban: "If we get another chance, we will definitely kill her and that will make us feel proud," Shahid said.<br />
The also have reportedly threatened to kill the shopkeepers in her home country if they are found selling the teenager’s new book, "I Am Malala."<br />
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I don't care what you believe. If you think it's right to kill teenage girls and oppress people, you are a... I can't even find words strong enough for this. I would like to be a pacifist, a peacemaker, capable of quiet dignity like Malala. I am not that good. Anyone who uses religion to deny basic rights and human dignity to anyone should die, and their religion should die with them. Everywhere in the world BETTER EDUCATION IMPROVES LIVES, ESPECIALLY when WOMEN ARE EDUCATED. <div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-61352294816227214242013-03-08T11:08:00.001-06:002013-03-08T14:15:09.718-06:00A short storyTen people wash up on a desert island after their ship sank in a storm. They don't know where they are, but lucky for them a large crate of military MREs washed up on shore with them. It was being transported on the the ship. These ten people set about getting shelter and dividing up the food. They have no idea when they might be rescued, but the MRE crate holds 100 meals. If they ration the food they should be able to make it last long enough to be rescued.<br />
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One of the survivors is a big, burly, kinda dumb guy named Pete. Because he looks kinda scary, everyone puts him in charge of handing out the food. So he starts handing out food packs one at a time. When he comes to a guy named Ted, Ted demands that he be given 40 of the 100 MREs. Pete says "heck no, why should I do that?" Ted replies, "Do it my way and we both win. If you give me 40 meals, I'll give you two of them in return. We'll both be sure to survive with the extra food. If anyone complains, you can just growl at them. You're a big scary guy. Hey, you could even take a couple extra from the crate for yourself. No one would stop you. You just tell them this is the way it is."<br />
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Like I said, Pete wasn't very smart, but he was very hungry. So he agreed. He gave Ted the 40 meals, took an extra one for himself, and collected the two that Ted owed him for the deal. When the rest of the survivors protested, Ted just said, "Hey, these are the rules. I'm just playing by the rules." and Pete growled and everybody else cowered in fear.<br />
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I don't know if these people got rescued. What I do know is that no one would think this is a fair situation. Well, welcome to America. 1% of the population holds 40% of the wealth in America. And the only thing that trickles down from them is a few drips and drabs to make sure the idiot politicians keep everyone else afraid, pacified, or paralyzed.<br />
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Do I resent success? No. I admire Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. What I do resent is that the system has been schemed so that those with a lot of money have an easy time making more. They conjure more out of thin air. And if it goes wrong they go cry to the government for more money. These people aren't innovators. They make money from money. These people are not job creators. They are profit whores. I am a job creator. When I buy groceries, I create jobs. When I buy a car, I create jobs. When I hire someone to trim my trees, I create jobs. I don't have a lot, but no matter how much I have, I will not hoard it like a dragon under the mountain. For every Elon Musk there are a dozen others who just sit on their pile of gold and do nothing. It's time to slay the dragon.<br />
<br />
Sources:<br />
http://www.epi.org/publication/ib330-productivity-vs-compensation/<br />
http://www.raisetheminimumwage.com/facts/entry/amount-with-inflation/<br />
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPKKQnijnsM&feature=youtu.be<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-50363211249062581022012-10-10T19:13:00.001-05:002012-10-10T19:46:56.934-05:00Promote this!Some main points from the Wikipedia entry on Promoters:<br />
<br />
"An entertainment promoter i.e. music, wrestling, boxing etc. is a person or company in the business of marketing and promoting live events such as concerts/gigs, boxing matches, professional wrestling (wrestling events), festivals, raves, and nightclubs.<br />
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At a minimum the event promoter manages publicity and advertising. Depending on the arrangement they may also handle security, ticket sales, Admission to an event or establishment (door policies), decorations, and booking of entertainers."<br />
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Ready for full on rant mode? I am sick and fucking tired of people who call themselves promoters leaching off bands. Not paying. Expecting the bands to do all the legwork. Expecting bands to sell tickets. Even making the first band find the other bands to book on the bill. ENOUGH! Don't invite me to play a showcase or awards show like you singled me out and really want me, only to then demand that I be able to sell 50 tickets on my own. That's not how a show like that works. And where is that money going anyway? Not to the bands. If you call yourself a promoter, do your fucking job and promote. Do I have a big draw? No. Why? Because I have to bring all the people to my show. I don't get the opportunity to play for people who don't know me. I don't need friends, I need fans. I want to play your show Mr. Promoter, but if all the bands have to beg their friends to come all the time, there will be 5 people there. Like there is every time. If you want to make more money Mr. Promoter, put the effort into making your shows a known event, so you will have regulars who always come no matter what bands are playing, bring their friends, and spread the word. If you always pawn off the job to the bands, you have to start over from zero EVERY SINGLE SHOW.<br />
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PS - While I'm still ranting: venues, you are on my shit list, too. If you book directly, play the entertainer more than happy meal money. And don't treat bands like they are a nuisance. If you don't want live music, don't book it. And while you're at it, spend the money for a decent sound system and person to run it.<br />
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PPS - Bands: you play a role here to. Understand what it means to act professional at the gig, and understand your situation. If you agree to the show, show up. Don't be a dick. That makes it worse for the rest of us. Playing a 100 seat bar with 5 other bands? Probably not the night to bring your own full lighting fog machine rig that takes 30 minutes to set up and another 30 to tear down. Again, don't be a dick. And don't try to throw that back at me, this is my blog and I can be a dick here if I want.<br />
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One more thing, dear promoter. Did you actually listen to my music? Or am I just another body to plug the hole?<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-44776301713577142782012-07-16T14:22:00.000-05:002012-07-16T14:22:13.620-05:00Music streaming is the future (and it's a load of bull)I've been hearing quite a bit lately about streaming being the future of music. All you can eat services (free or otherwise) like Spotify and Pandora are the future. And the future is now. And the future is a steaming pile of bullshit for independent artists.<br />
<br />
Sure, there is more potential exposure having my music on these services. They are convenient and are delivering music in a way consumers want. I've read articles about how great this is for labels and listeners. Notice who gets left out? And despide hundreds of plays on streaming services, I've not seen any uptick in actual purchases. See, that's the point. Just stream all the time. The claim is that pretty soon people won't own any music. It will all be streamed.<br />
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Here's the problem. Services like Spotify are relatively new, and as with a lot of online ventures, no one has really figured out how to make good money on it. So they make some money somehow. That pile of money is divided among everybody. I'm competing with Madonna and Green Day. Their cut will obviously be bigger than mine. What's worse, and what really compounds this problem is that Spotify pays $.007 per play. You read that right, less than one penny. The highest number I've seen from other services is just over one cent per play. I don't know how much profit these streaming services are making, but I'm going to be extra pissed if they aren't putting most of it back to the artists. Really, it's no different than is ever was. It's still radio, and the little guy still gets screwed.<br />
<br />
Honestly, I would rather someone steal my music than insult me by paying 7/10th of a cent for a play.<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-50100577181591693832012-01-30T13:05:00.000-06:002017-08-13T19:34:07.944-05:00The disconnect of moneyMy girlfriend and I just bought a house. Sure it's cool, and due to some family circumstances we have money to fix and update quite a few things right away. A few hundred to a few thousand for a handful of projects, no problem, the money is there. And as we spend this money I'm made intimately aware of the disconnect that rich people have with the rest of us. Even people who just live comfortably in the upper middle class experience some of this disconnect.<br />
<br />
My dad passed away, and my mom gave me some of his life insurance money. That's why we had money for a down payment, and why we can get work done without worrying about it. And I cannot really express in words how it feels to get the plumbing fixed without having to feel a pinch of financial pain. Knowing that I can afford to finish the basement without going further into debt. It's a strange sensation, and I know it will end. The money isn't endless. I've lived hand to mouth, I've hoped every new day wasn't the day my car broke down or something didn't put me in the hospital. This brief stint without worrying about money has given me more insight into just how disconnected the rich must be.<br />
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People like Mitt Romney can't understand. Even people who've come from humble backgrounds and earned their money will have forgotten the real, visceral qualities of financial stress. Even those who I've met who are kind and humble about their wealth can only pretend to get it. Someone who has never had to be concerned with having the money necessary can't understand the reality most people in the world live in. Those people never have to choose between fixing a broken window and buying food. Getting a dental checkup and putting gas in the car to go to work. You can tell a rich person that you might loose your house, but they'll never really understand how that feels and what it's doing to you as a human being, what it's like to feel you've lost your dignity and self-worth. And the biggest disconnect that the rich suffer is that they can never understand that financial stress is real, it's not always my own fault, and I can't just work harder, do better, and get ahead. They don't get it because they've spent the last 40 years altering the system so they get richer and the rest get poorer.<br />
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If anyone rich reads this, they may think I'm just jealous. I'm just engaging in class warfare. That my place in life is all my fault (and I do take responsibility for my own choices). They may read this and scoff. They may not care at all. But if you read this, and you never have to worry about money, I ask this one thing of you. Always remember that the 'have nots' are people. Human beings. We are not merely tools for your advance. We are not capitol. We are not commodities. We have our dignity and our self-worth. We have our families and our dreams. Just like you.<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-58515164168243936502012-01-11T14:02:00.000-06:002012-01-11T14:02:02.904-06:00The Artist's ConundrumThere are two sides to being a successful artist. I don't mean financial success or fame, but two parts of the puzzle that have to fit together before any reward may come your way. Sometimes the answers are obvious, other times not.<br />
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Part the first: I do this for me. Not you. Not you over there either. I create, be it music or visual art in my case, strictly for myself, for my own satisfaction. The process of creating and finishing work is what I live for, it's what feeds my energy to keep living. Putting pencil to paper, brush to canvas, setting up microphones, tracking parts, mixing the final song, all of that thrills me. Yes, at times it can also be very frustrating when I've written a guitar part I can't play, or the finished painting is far from what I saw in my mind. But those failures are also the points where I learn, grow, and improve. Then when I conquer the guitar part or the paint, all the more sweet and satisfying it is. What does this have to do with you? Nothing. I could be the last man on Earth and I would still do this.<br />
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Part the second: I do this for you. When I finish my song or my painting, I am compelled by some mysterious force to share it with you. It would be fair to call this force ego. I want you to hear it, see it, experience the thing I made. I want you to love it or hate it. I don't want you to be indifferent. My esteem is boosted when you like it, scarred when you don't. Scarred worse when there's no reaction at all. If I want a chance at being recognized for the work, or to have a change to sell it, I have to take the risk that I will fail. That no one will like what I do. I know I will take that personally, because I poured myself into the song. But it isn't personal because it's just business. Or rather it is personal. Personal to me when I create, personal to you when I share. As soon as I play you that song or show you that drawing, it's no longer mine alone. It's ours to experience as we each will, in different ways shaped by our lives up to that point. If you don't like it, I have to just shrug and start anew. I can't argue you into liking it.<br />
<br />
And that's the enigma of all this. If I can be damaged by you, why share at all? If, in the phase of creating, I'm totally wrapped up and concerned only with pleasing myself, why do I care what you think when I'm done? Maybe it's human nature or the nature of art. I'm sure it also has to so with my desire to make a living at this. If I don't share, then it's no more than a hobby. I know there are a lot of hobby artists and musicians out there who do stop at part one and love it. I love it, too, but I've made it more complex by a desire to make a living at art. And I will freely admit, it feeds my ego. My music and art is what I want to be remembered for. Most people who know me well would consider me quiet, unassuming, humble. And most of the time I am. But when the project is done, that's when I stand on top of the roof with my split personality and shout out loud "I did this! This is me! I have achieved this! Screw you if you don't get it!" while quietly inside I fear rejection and defeat. And I will do this over and over again until I die.<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-90890769790618679592011-10-10T13:19:00.001-05:002011-10-10T14:17:31.617-05:00This is the way of fathers and sons<div>
I remember bike rides and baseball. Our dog was the shortstop. I was never very good at baseball. He wanted me to be good at it like he was. This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
We went fishing often. Early mornings spent getting the boat in the water, looking for the perfect spot, coming home empty handed. This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
There was a lot of vinyl then, many hours spent listening to the Beatles and CSNY. Many hours spent listening to him play guitar and sing. Believe it or not he didn't want me to play guitar when I was very young. We see how that turned out. This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
Our family was never rich, but I never lacked. This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
I got older and we began to butt heads often. This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
I played guitar and quickly surpassed him. I was growing up and we struggled to find our middle ground. I'm sorry I never became a famous rock star, he only requested I buy him the first house on the left in key west.This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
He tried to tell me what to do and I got angry. He tried to be too involved and I resented it. He tried to relate in the way he knew how and it hurt me. I needed to strike out on my own for my own. This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
He drank too much and I hated him when he was drunk. But he was never violent, only irritating. This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
He helped me to go to college. He supported my pursuits, sometimes too forcefully, he wanted to participate instead of stand back and be a proud father. But he was never absent, and he was proud. This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
He got cancer and I said goodbye. He fought back. I was angry he didn't take better care of himself. He got very sick and I said goodbye. He hung on. All the pain and treatment and drugs and illness and coma and surgery changed him. He was not the same man I grew up with. I said my piece and I made my peace, as much as I could, but the man I really needed to talk to was gone. I said goodbye. This is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
<br />
We settled into a good relationship, somehow him finally understanding the adult I had become, and me understanding why he did and what he did to make me that adult. He loved me and I will always love him. One last time he fought his body, but it was time to rest. I am saying goodbye again, for the last time. I will spend the rest of my life missing him, cursing him, being angry at him, wishing he was still here, loving him, being grateful for the time we did have, because this is the way of fathers and sons.<br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-68176185142765374932011-10-04T11:22:00.001-05:002011-10-04T11:22:39.531-05:00Pics from my Utah 2011 tripDigital pics ready to go, gotta get the 120 film developed. <a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/guitarsean/UtahSeptember2011?authuser=0&feat=directlink">Utah September 2011</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-85322194141481991582011-09-13T17:37:00.000-05:002011-09-13T17:37:01.872-05:00IntermissionA random smattering of other recent Colorado photos. These pictures really take themselves out here.<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-55686039950664193402011-09-12T14:06:00.000-05:002011-09-12T14:06:10.276-05:00Momentary Pause<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Instead of the usual opinion and music geekery, I figured it's been a while since I posted some photos from my travels. I still get out and about, still like to see new things, and still prefer rocks and trees over people. Last weekend I went to Lair Of The Bear Park, near Evergreen CO. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAqcQbdrYLzqlbhvZFN-l5xCycg0bILDIXK3FdZXRtkz8nzG4WEn7J9lQlE3W5PGpBK16wIP3lf-TQC9tYgBxnYuaZkLK8NMpYEwPWgJ2MtNJ0CppqngA2aiIdXyVsdoymLEP5UqmTJa63/s1600/2011-09-11_12-16-49_705.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAqcQbdrYLzqlbhvZFN-l5xCycg0bILDIXK3FdZXRtkz8nzG4WEn7J9lQlE3W5PGpBK16wIP3lf-TQC9tYgBxnYuaZkLK8NMpYEwPWgJ2MtNJ0CppqngA2aiIdXyVsdoymLEP5UqmTJa63/s640/2011-09-11_12-16-49_705.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFxmY_mXl5ZKMZqQE4FqCaZYXI23RL05wJA7FOS8DGacILYrFMY6MZw5L-efYgWyWaSYScAkRSoXoWtP87Y3jUWPOwb5YV6Yt66UP2vwQRYgfJUAfkaWQg0byswHGhexhFn7Y2G8ycElfi/s1600/2011-09-11_11-42-08_869.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFxmY_mXl5ZKMZqQE4FqCaZYXI23RL05wJA7FOS8DGacILYrFMY6MZw5L-efYgWyWaSYScAkRSoXoWtP87Y3jUWPOwb5YV6Yt66UP2vwQRYgfJUAfkaWQg0byswHGhexhFn7Y2G8ycElfi/s640/2011-09-11_11-42-08_869.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU-oLZQcX0ngwXxIwNan8Vep-Gvebqq6KOoutWMojtBfm5_H92PldtcNkkHs1petUsRax2SWblGstLEs_0FDLSsjrxyJ-mq1wdqDC9mZZkRvxHgoj6qusJ7oCSTdck9K9pqKryrhzBriPa/s1600/2011-09-11_12-14-24_479.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU-oLZQcX0ngwXxIwNan8Vep-Gvebqq6KOoutWMojtBfm5_H92PldtcNkkHs1petUsRax2SWblGstLEs_0FDLSsjrxyJ-mq1wdqDC9mZZkRvxHgoj6qusJ7oCSTdck9K9pqKryrhzBriPa/s640/2011-09-11_12-14-24_479.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-74776780636518334642011-08-31T16:00:00.001-05:002011-08-31T16:14:39.230-05:00Sorry Mom and Dad, your generation failed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://advisorperspectives.com/dshort/charts/census/household-incomes-mean-real.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="464" src="http://advisorperspectives.com/dshort/charts/census/household-incomes-mean-real.gif" width="640" /> </a></div>
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Images from <a href="http://advisorperspectives.com/dshort/updates/Household-Income-Distribution.php">dshort.com</a> </div>
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Just let that image soak in for a minute. I'm part of the orange line there. What this image means is that people like me have seen no real increase in income in the past fifty years. In fact, the only people who have see a real increase were those who were already rich. The richest 20% of Americans are the only ones who've done better over that last three generations. </div>
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Here's another view:</div>
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<a href="http://advisorperspectives.com/dshort/charts/census/household-income-pie-chart.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="http://advisorperspectives.com/dshort/charts/census/household-income-pie-chart.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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Twenty percent of the country takes home half the income. Picture this: You go to a party with 4 friends. You order a pizza, and when it arrives, one of your friends takes half the pie. Why? Because he can. Because the system has been gamed over the past 50 years to make that possible. And what's worse, he'll take that half, then use his disproportional influence to make the rest of you fight over the other half and ignore him. Blame teachers. Blame municipal employees. Blame the poor. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.<br />
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<b><a href="http://www.stateofworkingamerica.org/pages/interactive#/?start=1917&end=2008">Here's a fun chart</a></b>. Grab the sliders and see how incomes have changed over time. From 1917 to 2008, 51% of the income gains in the US went to the richest 10%. That's like most of us growing up thinking pizza only comes in halves.<br />
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Here's one that will blow your noggin:<br />
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<a href="http://www.stateofworkingamerica.org/files/images/med/Poverty_age_all-years_without_titles_2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="418" src="http://www.stateofworkingamerica.org/files/images/med/Poverty_age_all-years_without_titles_2.png" width="640" /></a></div>
Nearly 1/4th of all children under 6 in the US live in poverty today. And mind you, the poverty line in the US is currently defined for a family of four as an income of $22,050 per year. That shames me. I could barely get by as a single person on that. How can a family survive? Why is the poverty level so low? In Colorado the minimum wage is $2 less per hour than the calculated <a href="http://www.livingwage.geog.psu.edu/counties/08005">living wage</a>. For a SINGLE PERSON. Forget adding kids to the mix. <br />
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I'm not specifically blaming my parents for this, or my part of it. I am laying blame, or at least a fair share of it, at the feet of progressives and liberals from the baby boom generation of the 1960s. I've seen enough movies and tv shows and documentaries over the years to have a thorough understanding of the nostalgia for the 60s, and for the actual progress that was made. Gains in civil rights, gender equality, and environmental laws should be lauded. Life today isn't perfect but would be far worse with segregated schools and unclean drinking water. But somehow the movement fell off the rails. You fell asleep at the wheel mom and dad. Somewhere along the way in the 70s you all decided you'd rather snort coke and dance to disco tunes at Studio 54. I do remember my parents campaigning for some Libertarian 3rd party guy in the early 80s, but that was just some vestigial activism heaving it's last breath. <br />
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Where did the passion go? Where did the desire to make the world better for everyone go? Was it the assassinations of Dr. King and Bobby Kennedy? I can imagine the loss of two iconic progressive leaders would take the wind out of your sails. Was it Watergate? Did you think that for every Watergate you catch, there must be ten you don't? Did you think there was just no way you could win, so better to spend your money and be a good middle class consumer? Did you just tire of the fight? That's too bad, because the other side has more money and always has had more. And money doesn't get tired. After a brief flurry of progress, we've settled into dumb numb consumerism and we can't be bothered to care.<br />
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I can't say I'm any better. I haven't really fought the good fight. Not in the streets like my mom did. I don't really expect my parent's generation to suddenly jump up and do something. These are just observations and things I think about, especially when I hear someone reminiscing about the good ole 60s, or meet some neo-hippy college drum circle fashion statement who is all show and no substance. What worries me most is that though my parents knew things had to change and they tried with varying degrees of success, I feel like it's too late. My generation can't even think about changing the world for the better. I have no hope.I've known for a long time that I'm part of a generation that struggles to do better than our parents. But now I feel like I can't because the system was rigged before I was even born.<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-9503190282213818582011-05-11T10:58:00.000-05:002011-05-11T10:58:09.446-05:00Fence the wire... or wire the fencerSomething I'd like to do a lot more of. Wire sculpture is a lot of fun. It's like scribbling in 3D.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHsOj97BF28zuLSccdZGscU1tysR2fPJaRd5KE3NHvL_uhxm4bRZEUKKuB3rMD00PDhoxk3s9IQHxZoU-__h7QRMrL1RlTcJqo_C-Ep3J7YgGC6gGroj-4PgBuZheRHTpZSPHorbWxxkT0/s1600/2011-05-07_12-13-00_198.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHsOj97BF28zuLSccdZGscU1tysR2fPJaRd5KE3NHvL_uhxm4bRZEUKKuB3rMD00PDhoxk3s9IQHxZoU-__h7QRMrL1RlTcJqo_C-Ep3J7YgGC6gGroj-4PgBuZheRHTpZSPHorbWxxkT0/s640/2011-05-07_12-13-00_198.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-70973103643106720812011-05-03T14:25:00.000-05:002011-05-03T14:25:24.052-05:00Once more unto the breach, dear friendsI've been back behind the recording console these past few weeks, and had my eyeballs buried in Sibelius notation files. This is the part of the music I like best. For some, being on stage is the ultimate musical joy. For me, it's setting notes to the page and tinkering with wave forms and effects plug-ins. If I weren't a musician I think I'd be a watchmaker or a mad scientist in a secret lab. I enjoy the meticulous, focused, hands-on tasks.<br />
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The notation files have been moving for new Strange Land material. Brad and I have quite a few songs with their full skeletons (and then some) in place. We've also been talking about taking a different approach to the release of these songs other than the traditional full cd route.<br />
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I've been tracking music with my new metal band Delusionist. Bass players are near impossible to find (well, good ones who want to be a creative force in the band and not just show up for the money), so we are recording a fresh demo and I'm doing the bass parts as well as my guitar parts. Delusionist has been flying under the radar and I don't want to give away too much until the demo is done and we're really rolling. I've never liked to say too much about my projects until I really have something to show for it. I've always felt this way, and I'm not the only one. <a href="http://sivers.org/zipit">Talking about your plans actually makes you less likely to accomplish them</a>.<br />
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I've also made some progress with a painting project, but alas, the rest is top secret for now.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglawQrLBiGB4LWPxCqvkuTtnMSiKX2aevl3o7TTG1I-SpYA8_nFbAwdpLKt-v1PVj94BBG9quIqxx4OwaD6aLeHXJx2FhDCWcbfclFJX4MkmjxJc-ll8o3131sdiokCiLJFPDFK0-J_std/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglawQrLBiGB4LWPxCqvkuTtnMSiKX2aevl3o7TTG1I-SpYA8_nFbAwdpLKt-v1PVj94BBG9quIqxx4OwaD6aLeHXJx2FhDCWcbfclFJX4MkmjxJc-ll8o3131sdiokCiLJFPDFK0-J_std/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-31897834709337794152011-04-26T16:11:00.000-05:002011-04-26T16:11:52.974-05:00Painted phone tableForgot that I had taken a photo of this when I was last in Wisconsin. It's an antique phone table I had painted as a project a long time ago. The design goes all the way around the table, but I only took a pic of the side with the moon. Enjoy!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdLRT64qTfwx6SnMgMoYQqDmLgHJaSGDmR92Mcb2UVgdHKiwWcwD_D0dd4Jz9bmZbYpOx3L_C-3hS05C-b9czp8BwFrCl38PV2KjQPcZB5VanC973aKiUBf78JU_4hOmzdiFZwBsk3YAVO/s1600/OKeefeDesk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdLRT64qTfwx6SnMgMoYQqDmLgHJaSGDmR92Mcb2UVgdHKiwWcwD_D0dd4Jz9bmZbYpOx3L_C-3hS05C-b9czp8BwFrCl38PV2KjQPcZB5VanC973aKiUBf78JU_4hOmzdiFZwBsk3YAVO/s640/OKeefeDesk.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-51428947467722176052011-02-21T00:02:00.003-06:002011-04-16T18:51:53.672-05:00Dispatches from the gray collarYears ago I wrote an essay that I never published. Probably about ten years ago, but I'm not going to go dig up the original. This was in the days before blogs, so I didn't really have an outlet for it anyway. I titled it "The Gray Collar" (I'm going to stick with the American spelling here). It was an attempt at the the time to figure out where I fit in America's class structure. I knew I wasn't white collar, yet I didn't feel blue collar either. These years later, as I watch the current events in my home state of Wisconsin, I can't say that anything has changed for me. I'm really no better off than I was, and I still don't know where people like me fit in. <br />
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Collars in general refer more to the type of work you do, not directly to the money you make, though the two are usually connected. Wikipedia has a number of entries on classes, including the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grey-collar">gray collar</a>. I didn't even know that was a real thing when I titled my essay. There are several definitions, but one list includes skilled trades and technicians. I guess that's pretty much what I do. I can call myself gray collar. It's a decent catch-all for those not white or blue collar (there are also green, pink, and gold collar workers... I'm not any of those either). I am college educated, technically skilled with my instrument, a knowledgeable specialist in the software I use, but except for hauling gear and the occasional 3 hour gig, I don't work a physically demanding job. <br />
<br />
Another element of class definitions is based on how much money you make. From 2006 to 2010 I had a regular job in an office, with good benefits. For seven years before that I was mostly self employed and part time. I am fully self employed again, and can't ever picture myself not being self employed again. So let's call that 4 years with built in benefits an anomaly. As a contractor, I currently average $30,000 per year. I say average with a caveat. Being a contractor in the music industry leaves you open to wild swings. I've seen as little as $20,000 and as much as $40,000. There's no predictability here. One of the biggest hurdles in my profession is that there's no built in increase of pay over time. There's no raise for what I do. There's no growth, no "moving up the ladder" as there is in most jobs. Gradually over time rates for private lessons, hourly rates for music engraving, charges for artwork and the like can go up, but I have to stay competitive with everyone else out there. I can't really predict any regular increase in my income. <br />
<br />
The only real way I can make more money is to work more. Yeah, me and what time machine are going to find the hours for that? Ok, I can find some time, but I can't squeeze more out of the same clients. I could teach private lessons again, but I can attest to the burnout one gets from doing that full time. It's like a second shift babysitting job, 45 kids a week, one at a time. More work as a contractor is not like getting more hours at a regular job. It's more like getting a second (or third or fourth) job. And, that $30,000 isn't far off from what I was making ten years ago. The arts are hurting and have been for years, another reason growth is slow, if there at all. That much income is decent for an unmarried guy with no kids and I get by fine. Reasonably comfortable. But that's it. I get by, and that's all I can ever see doing. It gets really tricky when I try to think of how I'm going to manage retirement. That might not be in the cards for me. <br />
<br />
By various definitions, that pay level makes me <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_middle_class#Lower_middle_class">working class</a>, just barely low middle class depending on what definitions you're looking at. As the numbers break down, the median income of a male, over 25, with a bachelor's degree is over $52,000/year. Glad to do my part to drag those numbers down. Bwahahahahaha! If I didn't laugh I'd cry. Maybe I should have picked a different major in college. I followed my dreams. Sorry mom and dad, but in hindsight maybe you should have encouraged me to be practical instead. I love my parents, but because they encouraged me to follow my dreams, I'll never even come close to making what they do. I want to support my teacher friends, but I also want to remind them that you do have it better than me, and a lot of other people, even if it gets a little worse. <br />
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I want to be clear on this: I love music and art and can't imagine doing anything else. I've been an office drone and a warehouse 9-5 guy. There's no joy for me there, just a paycheck. And sometimes those jobs can be such a drag I don't have the energy for the things I really like to do. The idea of getting a haircut and getting a "real job" makes me cringe. Sometimes I wish it could be easier. Punch out and go home, leave the work at work. I just don't seem to be wired that way. But don't you dare call me lazy. That's not how music is. I'm on 24/7. Whether it's practicing, writing down an idea that popped into my head, or schlepping an hour each way to play in a pit band, 9-5 Monday through Friday does not exist in my world. You might see a cd for $10 and think it isn't worth it. I see the hundreds of hours that went into making it. Perhaps I can leave you with this friendly reminder that art isn't a career for the lucky. I have the skill I have because I worked my ass off, and I make your world a little less dark whether you realize it or not. This gray collar seems to fit just fine.<br />
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/bitchmoan<div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-35983668894203035522011-02-16T12:02:00.000-06:002011-02-16T12:02:11.642-06:00Catharsis keeps rolling<h3 class="post-title entry-title"> </h3><div class="post-header"> </div><div class="post-body entry-content"> <h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="messageBody">Sweet! For the second year in a row, Strange Land gets a nod from the Progressive Rock Hall of fame! This year Catharsis was selected as best progressive hard rock album: <a href="http://www.progressiverockhalloffame.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span>http://www.progressiverockhall</span><wbr></wbr><span class="word_break"></span>offame.com/</a></span></span></h6></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-98101035160838203.post-53599642528874698932010-10-31T22:40:00.002-05:002010-11-01T09:17:28.510-05:00The less than six month assesmentI've been a resident of Colorado for about 4.5 months now. I was thinking about writing up a 6 month assessment, but I figured now was as good a time as any. A large part of this will be about music, since I am about music. And there will be a lot of personal sharing here. If you can't bear to read someone's inner thoughts, stop reading.<br />
<br />
The music so far... When I decided to move I had the intention of throwing myself into every music project I found interesting. And that's what I've done. Sometimes I feel in over my head, but when I take a moment to step back and remind myself (or be reminded, thanks Tim) that I haven't been here that long, yet I've done a lot.<br />
<ul><li>Acoustic gigs with Trinity Demask. I'm accompanying her on guitar (and vocals soon), and she's been kind to let me play some of my songs during intermissions. My solo material has gone over well, and it seems like there aren't many people around here playing my style of acoustic music. </li>
<li>Joined the technical metal band Delusionist. The singer/guitarist recently moved from Little Rock, and had a bunch of tunes ready to go. We've pounded out 5 so far. It's kind of a mix of Nevermore, Pain Of Salvation, and Devin Townsend. I'm enjoying it, and it's got me working on my rhythm chops.</li>
<li>Working with the Stone Soup Soldiers. A studio project mixing all kinds of music from latin to rock to classical. The best way I can describe it is "live loops". I go in, improvise a slew of parts, and the layers are later arranged and mixed. It's a wonderful collaborative process.</li>
<li>Scoring background music for a stage play. I found a group in Boulder doing a stage play for children, loosely based on Native storytelling. I'm adding orchestrations (strings, winds, etc) to the existing songs which are acoustic rock style. </li>
<li>I'm still working on new Strange Land material, solo acoustic material, songwriting submissions for PRP, and some random demos that may or may not make it into a movie or commercial. </li>
</ul>Other work of note, I recently did 12 paintings for my next acoustic cd. With the few I'd done in Milwaukee, that puts me about halfway to my goal. More info on this project later. I'm continuing to release tidbits and archive tracks for Strange Land, while we lay low and regroup for the future. I'm still doing art for PRP, and I've done some business logos for some friends. It looks there there will be a mini-comic book style cd booklet I'll be doing on the horizon. And on top of all that, I still have my day job. The long distance work situation is going fine, and lately I've been very busy with that. Like, working at 2am busy.<br />
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I love the area and the weather. It's a short walk to look at the mountains and I will never get tired of looking at them. I get out for hikes when I can, though not as often as I'd like. I think the best thing I will like about the weather here is that I won't have to hibernate for 6 months like you do in Wisconsin. Gas is cheaper, most everything is cheaper than Wisconsin because taxes are lower. My neighbors are decent, and the neighborhood is pretty quiet. I've started working out again, hard. I've sort of maintained a flatline in fitness for a few years, but I've dedicated myself to changing that. Half out of a desire for fitness, half as punishment. One of my mental issues...<br />
<br />
Even though I haven't been here long, I've still been able to take a long weekend to Utah, and a week to New Mexico. There is nothing more I like than traveling, especially road trips. I'm enjoying the fact that I now live much closer to the places I like driving to best. No offense to the people of Nebraska and Iowa, but that drive sucks. <br />
<br />
But, of course not everything is great. Someone once told me you can't run away from yourself. I knew this was true, and I knew some reckoning would come. Lately it has come. I had to leave Wisconsin for many reasons, one of which was to separate what was me (that needed to be worked on) and what wasn't me. I've pretty much got that sorted out, and I feel like I'm crawling out of a dark hole sometimes. I've made close acquaintances with my own demons so I'm better at knowing when they are trying to take over. Many of you know I don't drink (except for the occasional glass of wine with friends who know why I don't drink alone). I've never been an alcoholic but addictions run deep in my family. I don't drink because I know I like alcohol. I don't drink because I actually have to tell myself not to buy some at the store. I've been depressed enough to have sympathy for people who decide crawling into the bottom of a bottle is a better way to deal with life. I am glad to only be addicted to coffee.<br />
<br />
I think it's true that one must love oneself, and it's good to feel ok being single, to really be in a place to have a relationship. For the most part I am there, but there is still a space that I'd like to fill in my life. I may be busy, but that doesn't make me feel less lonely. Part of it is that I'm so busy. Part is that I've always been a solitary creature. Sometimes I need to be alone, to think, create, recharge. But at the same time, it's hard when I can't sleep at 3am and there's no one else there. I like being alone, but I don't like being lonely.<br />
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During and after my divorce I spent time assessing all the things I was doing, making sure I still wanted to do them. Mostly, I've got all that down, but I still question my motives from time to time. The edge is off my enjoyment of these activities because there is no one to share my inner self with. I've attempted dating out here, meet some great people. But my assessment is also that everyone out here is so fiercely independent they can't figure out how to make room for someone in their lives. I've concluded that I just need to wait, keep doing what I do (since I am the job), and hope someone finds me. I am an odd mix of characteristics and someone is just going to have to discover me. I've attempted to make friends, but no luck so far. I did come to the realization, after joining some meetup groups, that having only one big thing in common with some people has no bearing on whether you'll get along. My few close friends I have are a widely varied bunch, and we are bound by music in some way or other. I'm sticking to musicians.<br />
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I am of the opinion that the universe is utterly indifferent to my existence. My satisfaction with life is up to me. I'm mostly there. But I am annoyed that there may be parallel universes out there with really happy versions of me. Those guys probably aren't musicians though. I am annoyed at the near misses I've had, meeting someone I could be happy with, but shortly after realizing I had to move and there was nothing that could stop me. I am annoyed at meeting someone who, as far as I can tell, is everything I could ever want... except for one massive roadblock, thus likely closing that door forever. I don't want to just be the job. I would like a little more than that. <br />
<br />
Overall, life is good, it's just missing something. Where would my songwriting be without a little bittersweet tinge to life. I get the occasional reminder that I haven't been here all that long. I am almost infinitely patient with others, and I have none for myself. From time to time I just have to go look at the snow covered mountains, in the late October sun, and smile.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji4SZfcIul_Yy-YviY0Y897gbCV71R-Ic9kthWJKm_GEj1dj7ydxiYhhBGf8k5sNVZk1D5j560FpkPYbeMF_CSTnGo-KPd2P3kepX0svKQP5TlM8873mCnInvwo3hZzZ05yinwnLj9VrZ_/s1600/P1000406.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji4SZfcIul_Yy-YviY0Y897gbCV71R-Ic9kthWJKm_GEj1dj7ydxiYhhBGf8k5sNVZk1D5j560FpkPYbeMF_CSTnGo-KPd2P3kepX0svKQP5TlM8873mCnInvwo3hZzZ05yinwnLj9VrZ_/s640/P1000406.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">www.reverbnation.com/seangill</div>Sean Gillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04076164080096427562noreply@blogger.com0